Putting The Pencil Down

Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16

 God saw you before you were formed, He wrote your life in His book. We know the nature of God and we know that He does things right. EVERY SINGLE TIME. He made you fearfully, wonderfully and perfectly. There is a certain comfort in letting God handle the details of our life. There is something even more comforting in knowing that those details were hand written by God before we came into existence. God made us for victory.

You love God, you trust God. Are you loving and trusting Him enough to live the story He has already written for you? Or are you editing, erasing and rewriting your story?

You don’t like how you look, how your clothes fit, you beat yourself up when you eat junk, when you don’t stick to your exercise regimen (even though your diet and exercise goals are unrealistic and not possible to stick to). So you start thinking that you could write your life story (or any particular chapter) better that God.

All you can see is the negative things about yourself that continually run through your mind. You do not take into consideration that God sees in you what no one else does, He understands you as no one else does. He knows every single fear, every single joy, every single like and dislike. Of course He is capable of writing our life story, He personally created the main character (you), but more than that, the main character is His child.

His beloved child.

It is the times that we forget we aren’t the best authors of our own stories and we grab the pencil from God’s hands, that’s when we get into trouble. We let pride, fear, insecurity, the need to control and a million other things guide us and we face the world and defiantly shout- I am the master of my fate! We want to know how our story ends and every single road we are going to take to get to our destination. We are most tempted to do this when the story God wrote for us isn’t going the way we want it to and we think we could do it better. We grab the latest diet book, the next great exercise video, the latest (and usually pricey) supplement. So we take the pencil and we erase, omit and embellish what we don’t like and start writing our own story.

Or maybe we grow antsy when others don’t like the narrative that God has written and we are living and they are vocal about it. We often let others in our lives have the pencil and let them re-write God’s story for us This is spiritually and emotionally exhausting not to mention self-defeating.

 When it comes to what others think of our life story, let them think and say what they want, let them do what they want, as long as we are sitting back and letting God not only write our story but letting the story play out according to His plan, they can think and do what they want. We know the author, we love the author and He loves us. Do you have the courage to put your words ( “I love and trust you Lord”) or do you willingly wretch that pencil from God?

When God writes our story we can cease striving and enjoy peace, rest, contentment. So put the pencil down or better yet, hand it back to God in a personal and humble way and watch as He pens a best seller.

Learn to be content with contentment.


……………and so I ride

Am I Enough?

Am I Enough?

One of these days my life will be perfect. I will be rich enough, energetic enough, thin enough. If I were just a little bit “more” life would be great. There are days that I feel every finger is pointed at me, every wrong is blamed on me and every laugh is directed at me. Not wanted, undesirable, unaccepted, unworthy.

I am not “enough”.

How does one start being “enough”?

 Does being “enough” mean that you have worked more, exercised and dieted more, collected more possessions to earn your way to the title of “enough”?

Is there a goal you could set for yourself that when achieved would truly convince you that you were “enough”?

There is nothing that can give you the feeling of being “enough” on this earth.

That is something that only God can give you.

Remember who You are in Christ, He makes it quite clear…..YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Being “enough” is not something you can buy or work overtime to earn. You are a child of God, simply for that reason, YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Rom. 8:1

“Not Guilty, you are now free to live as the person God created you to be!

“To the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the one He loves” Eph 1:6

God has accepted us, unconditionally, wholly and completely now that we belong to His son.

And finally, who are we to argue with what God says about you, His creation?

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

 “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female, He created them.” Genesis 1:27

God respects and loves us. He made us fearfully and wonderfully. We are reflections of God’s glory. We can reflect His character in all we do.

You are “enough” because you were created in God’s image, not because of anything you own, anything you have done, and certainly not because of your physical appearance.

As long as you believe what God says is true, no one will be able to convince you ever again, that you are not enough.

You are “enough” , quit living your life making up for the feeling that you are not .

Quit the exhaustive and obsessive self improvement projects. Quit trying harder than comes naturally to you, quit exhausting yourself in your pursuit of “enough”.

Your life holds meaning because God loves you and you are His child. He created you to be more than “enough”.

God created you for victory.

Are you living in victory?


……………and so I ride

The Number on the Scale

The Number On The ScaleWe can step on the scale and do one of two things.

#1- Let the number on the scale can tell us we are fat, unworthy, ugly, lazy, and no one is ever going to love us.

#2- We can realize that the number on the scale can tell us how much our body weighs but it cannot define our worth.

The fact is, the number on the scale doesn’t tell you much except for the amount of gravitational pull you have on this earth.

The number on the scale cannot define beauty, purpose, worth, or how much you are loved by your Father.

You can choose to look at the scale and say-

I am a fatty, I am unworthy, I am lazy, I am ugly, and no one is ever going to love me for who I am.

Or you can look at your scale and say-

• I am justified by His grace through the redemption that came through Christ Jesus. Romans 3:24

• I am a set free child of God- Roman’s 8:21

• I am the accepted child of God- Roman’s 15:7

• I am the Holy Child Of God- 1 Corinthians 1:30

• I am a brand new child of God- 2 Corinthians 5:17

• I am a loved child of God- Ephesians 1:4

• I am a close child of God- Ephesians 2:13

• I am a confident child of God- Ephesians 3:12

• I am a VICTORIOUS child of God- Romans 8:37

We are supposed to find our identity, not the number on the scale. Yes we need to strive for “healthy” but we can do that by paying attention to how we feel physically and mentally. We can notice how our clothes fit and make adjustments where we need too

Your body is fearfully and wonderfully made. If you listen it will show you exactly what you need.

You scale can tell you what your body weights at any given time, it can show you a number, but that is ALL it can tell you. Don’t judge yourself by the number that the scale spits out.

Judge you the same way God does.


………..and so I ride

The painful road to good health

Dieting, exercise, journaling food, and so on and so forth. Is this really the way God wants us to live? Every waking moment thinking about, and obsessing over each bite we put into our mouth and how many hours of exercise we get a week.

 When what we do to lose weight and how we do it become more important to us than God, we are in trouble and all the efforts in the world will not work. We can’t shame, guilt or obsess ourselves into weight loss. If it does work it is for a very limited time and has done more harm than good.

We have all had conversations about health risks of being overweight, lowered self esteem it produces, how we look and feel with extra pounds, yet we still eat the same things and weigh more than we want to. We have all tried the latest, greatest supplement, diet books, videos etc. They can work for awhile, but in the end, we weigh the same or more. Our pocketbooks may be the only thing that is a little thinner.

Focusing to the obsessive about what we eat, when, and how much we exercise, journaling every last morsel of food that goes into our mouth leads to frustration, discouragement and is a viscous cycle. We focus on what we are failing to do under our own will power and when we fail we beat ourselves up and off we go to the next super plan that is hitting the media.

We completely ignore the grace of God, the goodness of God and the love God has for us. God personally made me uniquely me and you uniquely you. He skillfully and wonderfully made you and me. He doesn’t want us to be unhealthy He made us to be healthy. He wants us to take care of our bodies but no where in the Bible does it say that guilt, humiliation or obsession should be a part of our journey to health. Nor does it say that we have to spend half our monthly take home to achieve health.

You show me the scripture where it says to cut our nutritional intake to barely enough to survive, or to engage in a torturous exercise regimen that hurts us more than helps us. Show me even where it says we must purchase health. You can’t do it but I can show you scripture that tells you that God knew you before you were born and He set you apart. I can show you that God made you fearfully and wonderfully, He formed you from the inside out and He wrote your future in His book. He guided your conception, He offered and still offers unconditional and unfailing love. All the days of your life were prepared before you even lived one day!

The complexities that we let our journey to thinness inject into our lives are complexities that were not born of God. The real issue isn’t about weight at all, it is about stewardship. God wants us to have healthy bodies and He has given us all we need to achieve that. Just open your Bible.

Ask Him how to become a good steward of the body He has given you. He has the only plan you need. Psalm 139 is a wonderful place to start the journey.

God’s plan will give you the wisdom and balance that is required. Learn to live healthy through the following of God’s wisdom in what you eat and moving your body, your weight will naturally take care of itself. When you get the desperate urge to seek wisdom about your health at the bookstore or online, open your Bible instead. Pray instead of pay.

God is patient and kind, He will teach you the right way to healthy living. Remember what Philippians 1:6, being confident that what He starts in you He will complete. Don’t give up on yourself because God has promised you that He never will. He will see you through. It will be His timing however, so patience is a requirement also.

Walk with God as you walk the healthy road. You will start to notice you are just a bit stronger today than yesterday, you are a little fitter and trimmer, hey is that a waist I am seeing? You will start to notice that God is giving you the willpower to eat healthy and move your body that has up to now avoided you.

The road to health does not have to be painful but it does require commitment and determination.

In your weakness, seek His power and stand in VICTORY!


…………..and so I ride

LIving a Lie- Core Fears

We all have core fears that we operate day to day on. Say your core fear is abandonment, or loss of security, or any one of a hundred fears, that drives how you see the world and how you react to most things.

There are lots of ways this plays out, if something is said to you or someone doesn’t respond to a text or call. It could be any one of many situational happenings. Your core fear will determine how you react.

Let’s say that a text of phone call isn’t responded to and in the snap of a finger your core fear starts coloring how you react. For me, a feeling starts in my stomach that feels like I swallowed a burning spider. Before long that spider is spitting out burning spider webs in a million different directions.

If your core fear is abandonment (or whatever) the thoughts could go like this. My spouse will leave me, my friends will disappear, I will be left alone to care for myself, my retirement home will be the homeless shelter. You get my drift, one thing leads to another and before you know it your burning spider is taking a blow torch to your stomach.

All because you believe lies that Satan is really good at nurturing and growing. I am willing to bet there are some mighty lies living inside you and coloring your world. Satan is good at mighty lies.

So back to the not responded to text or phone calls (for example). The doubts and questions slowly start creeping in, at first, they are only smoldering but soon they burst into full flame propelling me to take action, any action to put out the fire in my gut because it is burning and it hurts. Those actions might include any number of harsh or stupid unproductive things, but boy do they feel productive at the time.

Up to this point the action I took usually did not include God…..and I wonder……..was that by chance, or by choice? Have I self sabotaged? Have I created an environment for my insecurities to be kept alive? Quite possibly.

There is work to do.

There are scripture that completely drown the thought that any one earthly person could take your security. I tried to find the “drown the burning spider” scripture but there are none.

It is all about believing from the same place that the spider is stirring up trouble, that what God says, God will do. Move that information to your heart.

Romans 8:38-39New International Version (NIV)

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This verse is very significant and can douse your burning spider. If this verse does not convince you that God will be there, nothing will. What an amazing feeling it is to read that and choose to just rest there. This is a comforting promise that says that no matter how you fear abandonment from those who occupy this earth with you and who may or may not walk away (they do have free choice) that it is impossible to be separated from our Lord.

Oh our God, your God and my God, is a good God. We don’t have to convince God to love us, He already does. It is His nature and His heart to join His life to ours and be one with us and us with Him. That means all of what we are, even the dark, burning spider side. That is something you can grab hold onto for dear life.

The rest will come.


………..and so I ride

The Love of a Child

She looked up at me with complete trust, this brand new little granddaughter I held in my arms. I knew then and there that it would be a life long love affair.

When she gazes up at me I can see complete faith in her that I will take care of her every need. She does not stress over it, she just knows.

This little girl soaks in the unconditional love that comes to her.

 She takes it without reservation and she closes her eyes and simply rests there.

She cannot yet understand what I say and she cannot yet see me clearly, but she knows nonetheless.

This is the kind of love that we often think we cannot possibly receive as adults. It is reserved for others.

Yet when we turn to Christ, He offers us that. As much as I love this little grand-daughter, the love I can give her does not hold a candle to the love Christ Jesus offers me. He takes me just as I am and He loves me. He offers me unconditional love that I can get no where else.

If only I had the same kind of faith of this child I hold in my arms. The kind of faith that says, I know you will take care of my every need Father, I will let you.

If only I had the same kind of faith that says I accept without reservation the unconditional love you offer me Father. I will receive it and rest in it fully.

The funny thing is, my Father knows my shortcomings and my fears and He loves me anyway.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

Where are you getting your informational revelations from?

I decided to do some early house cleaning. I headed for the closet shelves that housed my collection of diet and fitness books, videos, magazines, CD’s, and equipment. Two huge plastic tubs later I was thinking to my self, that is a whole lot of information you just boxed up to throw out. Yet I am still the same weight, ok plus a little more, than before. I am no healthier, no lighter and now weighed down by two huge tubs of heavy diet and exercise books that proved useless.

There might have been volumes and volumes of information in those tubs but I did not own the knowledge contained in them. All that knowledge was meaningless without revelation attached to it.

Knowledge isn’t understanding until you obey it, and come on, to be honest, I have not opened those diet books since I skimmed through them when I bought them. In fact, did I even read some of them at all? Nope. Did I watch the videos, do the exercises? In most cases I did not.

I can go to my tub right now and pull out numerous exercise cd’s that are still in their plastic wrap.

Most times, information without revelation produces frustration, sometimes enough frustration to make life miserable. Because, we know that even though we have a library full of information to guide us to a more healthy life, we simply don’t do it. We see the books on the shelf or in the storage tub and we jump right onto the guilty merry go round. I have been doing it my whole life.

 Until recently I didn’t invite God into my food/diet/exercise world. A healthy living plan without God is just one more useless book setting on a shelf, it is unused information and a failed attempt to lose weight. Without a revelation from God about theinformation in those books, it is simply words printed on a page.

 A revelation is when God’s word becomes your reality.

Ok, back to where I left off.

Food has consumed my life as long as I can remember. I have tried every diet imaginable, I have read books, magazines, watched CD’s and videos. I even had bariatric surgery. If information were translated into instant success I would be rail thin, incredibly fit and have a kitchen stocked with power foods. But I’m not and I don’t.

I think I have been reading the wrong book.

Where did I go so wrong as to let food rise to this level, the same level where God was? We as a society have watched as food has taken on a God like aura. God has given us food for nourishment and strength but we have added it to every celebration, attached it to every emotion and carry it with us as a weapon to be brought forth when something goes wrong, when something goes right or anytime we think we need a emotional boost. We use food to fill every last empty space within us.

I don’t think that God intended us to use food that way. Because we have become a nation of the obese, and obese is unhealthy. I can’t find one scripture where God encourages us to eat until our health is compromised.

 The revelation that God wants me to see is that only He can fill that space. Try as I might to fill the empty void with food or anything but God and all I get is fat, guilty, unhappy and a nasty attitude.

I was created in God’s image. I was created to reflect Him, His love, patience, forgiveness, kindness, and faithfulness.

I was created to be healthy and to feel positive about myself. In the scriptures, we are told to eat, we need food to survive, Acts 27:34. In 1 Corinthians 6:19 and 20 it says our body is where we house God, our body is a temple.

Food is a gift God gave me to keep myself healthy and nourish my body, he never intended it to become the obsession it has. Yes I eat when I am hungry but if truth be told, I eat when I am not hungry a great deal of the time. I have forgotten what true hunger feels like and if the food is especially pleasing to me I forget or ignore what full feels like.

I usually don’t think that I will eat to give myself energy and nourishment to make it through the day. I think, I’m bored I will grab something to eat to have something to do. . I’m excited I will grab something to celebrate. I’m sad I will grab something to commiserate.I am mad I will grab something to indulge my self pity.

God wants me to fill that empty space with Him. I don’t dig out my diet books, CDs or magazines, I dig out the food. I should be digging out my Bible, I should be stuffing myself with things of God.

 I say it again, a revelation is when God’s word becomes your reality. A revelation is when your first stop is your Bible to renew your mind. It isn’t your belly screaming at you to fill it because you haven’t taken in nourishment for days, hours or minutes as it were. A revelation isn’t a cinnamon roll or Twinkie. Listen to your soul asking for spiritual nourishment because you have not fed from His word or spent one on one time with God for days and days. A revelation is drinking in God’s word and living it. A revelation is when God’s word becomes your reality, it is a willingness to trust and to obey. Only God’s word mixed with faith will get you to revelation. That is the point where all the information you ingest will become meaningful and not just words printed on a page.

Living healthy and losing weight is more than losing weight. It is more than focusing on sculpting my body. It isn’t about adjusting my diet or obsessing over every last morsel that goes into my mouth. It is about adjusting my thoughts so that I want to change my health for the correct reasons. Only God’s word mixed with faith will get me to the revelation that I seek..


……and so I ride